I Feel Great!!!

And here are some of the reasons why:

1. I’m slightly ahead on my work so I don’t feel overwhelmed or crushed by it but there is enough to keep me interested.

2. I’m getting super stoked for the upcoming rally and feel like I have some decent ideas for our kick-off this year that should make it a great time. This may be the last Hillside Rally I lead so I want to make it cool. However I know I will never beat the “Best Rally Ever” that stuff was youth ministry solid gold.

3. I have been greatly affirmed by some people whose opinions are significant to me in the last little while. I’ve been somewhere between flattered and dumbfounded but definitely encouraged.

4. God is continuing to lead, guide, and bless in the area of what’s next (aka my evil plan) and I’m hoping to be able to share what that is in early February.

5. We have been putting the kids to bed at 6:30 every night and they have been way happier and better behaved, especially Micah. My wife gets up with them at about 6am which is just one of the innumerable things that makes her the best wife I’ve ever had (sorry Neil). I have two awesome sons who are a blast to play with and who warm my heart. The Dr said at his current rate of growth Micah will be 6’6” before he’s done. I think he could go 6’8” though because the Bloses (who he gets his height from) tend to keep growing after most people stop. Tonight’s play schedule so far involves air hockey and Lego – awesome!!!

6. As a part of my less hectic pace at work I have been getting more and better sleep and feeling better rested and more alert. This is good.

7. God has blessed me to work in a great church with great friends. It’s so cool to spend time in the office, in LBA meetings, at small group, with the kind of people I’d like to hang out with anyway.

8. I feel really stable spiritually right now. I’m not in a “dry time” I’m not on a mountain top. I’m just plugging away and learning and changing a little each day. Drury is right – this is where life is best lived. I feel like I’m being challenged and stretched but not like I’m about to break. It’s really cool.

9. I continue to love our house, especially my living room. It’s sort of a cross between a turn of the century sitting room and a cathedral complete with candles, a crucifix, an image of the blessed virgin, an icon of Christ, and some old books. It’s defiantly my happy place. Our coffee table is a big hunk of a thing that is made out of acacia wood which of memory serves is the material they made the Ark of the Covenant out of. Anyway – I love old religious stuff and my living room has a bunch of it. Of course I still want more. I’d like to get some Eastern orthodox stuff. So far it’s looking pretty Catholic. I also have a copy of the manual of the Reformed Baptist Church just to make sure I represent. Anyone else out there fascinated with Religious articles and art work or just me?

Robin Mark vs AJ Thomas

Robin Mark vs. AJ Thomas

Try as I might I can't get this video to post properly to my blog.

And I thought all my complaining about worship songs I don't like went unnoticed.

Robin Mark vs AJ Thomas

My Personal Loss of Faith

It’s been a long hard process, full of questioning and searching. I have had to reexamine some of the things that I have always felt to be true and question a lot of the assumptions I have made over the years but as the proverbial dust settles it’s clear to me that I have lost my faith. I can no longer believe in science.

Like most people I was raised believing that there was such thing as science and I never really questioned it. I just blindly bought into the whole thing, physics, chemistry, biology, all of it, I even dissected a pig once. My parents taught me that the universe was governed by these invisible rules and principals and I just went along with it until lately. But then I started thinking – why would I believe something just because pretty much everyone else in the world does? Why would I, a 28 year old with mediocre grades in an arts degree and virtually no scientific training blindly accept the general consensus of generations of highly trained and incredibly intelligent people with lifetimes of experience, study, and advanced degrees? I mean that just seems so stupid when you think about it.

Besides - have you ever seen science? Sure you might have experienced some things that seemed scientific at the time but have you ever actually seen science? If we are honest we would have to say that science is really just an idea. Something people have invented to try and explain the things they see around them. People see things in the world and they just assume it's because of science when it could just as easily be magic or coincidence.

For some reason people just choose to believe there are invisible forces like “gravity” and “heat” that are at work in this world even though if I asked them to show it to me the best they could do would be to show me a rock dropping to the ground. A rock dropping to the ground? Really? My one year old son could throw a rock at the ground – I remain unconvinced. And if there is such a thing as heat then how do you explain all the icebergs in our world? And it’s not just the ice bergs – my freezer is full of ice cubes not to mention frozen peas and chicken wings. Where is your precious heat then?

I guess some people need to believe in science. It helps them make sense out of this chaotic world and I guess that's good for them but ultimately I think science is just a crutch for people who are to weak to go through life not knowing why stuff happens. If you think having cures for diseases and work saving technology is a good thing you’re welcome to it but I can’t buy it anymore.

Plus look at all the evil people have done in the name of science. Animal testing, human testing with the Nazis and others, the A-bomb, biological warfare, internet porn, techno music, and the list goes on and on. Did you know that Jeffery Dalmer was really into biology? In the middle ages they used to cut sick people and make them bleed because that was the “scientific” way to cure them – how ridiculous. Science is really just a man made system of rules anyway and they just keep changing them. Do you know scientists used to believe heart transplants were impossible?

And I hate the way science people think they are better than everyone else. As if you have to believe in science to be a good person. Look at the Amish – they don’t believe in science – are you going to tell them they are less intelligent simply because they don’t happen to agree with your personal beliefs? They aren’t bad people – after all they forgave that school shooting guy. Scientists are such self-intelligent hypocrites. They say space travel is possible but the truth is they all live on earth just like the rest of us. Sure maybe a few of them have been in space but I doubt that was because of science, for the most part scientists are all talk. Most of them have never even reproduced asexually – who are they to tell me how worms procreate? I grew up next to a guy who was all into science and one day I decided to jump off my roof and fly to the sun. The guy comes out on his deck and he’s all “you @#$%! idiot you are going to break your &$*@# neck.” What a judgmental jerk! I did jump but I didn’t break my neck I just broke my legs and you will never convince me that it had anything to do with “gravity” it’s just the way things worked out. How could science ever be right if there are mean people who believe it, it’s just not logical? Don’t get me wrong, not all scientists are bad – I like Einstein, I think he was a nice person, a brilliant intellect, and he had some good stuff to say but that doesn’t mean I’m going to just go along with the sheep and believe that E really equals MC squared.

Now that I have given up my faith in science I feel so free, so liberated. It’s like this huge weight has been lifted off me. I think I’m going to head up to the roof and exercise my new found freedom. I’ll bet you any money that when I get to the sun it turns out to be lukewarm at best.

It's No Numa

We made this a few months ago for a series we did called "Biblical Sex Scenes" It's pretty low budget and I'm not really movie star material but the Robin Ogilvie edited it and he made it pretty decent. Anyway - here it is for your entertainment and / or inspiration.

http://myweb.dal.ca/rgogilvi/dare/

Grampy McNally

So I just got back from my Grampy McNally’s funeral. It was cool. He was a truly great man. Not having known him I’m sure you won’t get some of the stuff below but this is what I wrote about him and read at his funeral. I write stuff like this to be read so the punctuation and sentence structure isn’t always proper to written form.

Grampy McNally

I’ve got a million warm memories of that little house in Sherman but one of my fondest played out time and time again as I would be getting ready to head out the door and back to Canada and Grampy would hug me and look me square in the eyes and say something along the lines of you know I’m some proud of you, you take good care of you mother, and you pay attention. Pay attention. It’s a weird parting sentiment to give your grandson although the fact that something is weird never stopped him or any other McNally I know. Pay attention. That’s how Grampy learned most of what he knew, a body of knowledge the size of which Grammy challenged on several occasions, like days that end in “y”. What he knew he knew by paying attention and he wanted to pass that on to me the only way he knew how. By teaching me to pay attention to. And so I did start paying attention, especially to him. I watched Sonny McNally live his life for years and here’s what I learned.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that if duct tape can’t fix it - it ain’t broke.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that some of the finest baseball you can watch is played by 10, 11, 12 year old kids around Sherman.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that house of the Lord or not slippers are very comfortable footwear.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that just because someone (who shall remain nameless) is yelling at you doesn’t mean you can’t cook supper for them.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that if you ain’t picky about how it looks you can pretty much always afford a new paper car and that for a truly resourceful person a paper car can become one part automobile one part awe inspiring folk art sculpture.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that a man ought to have a dog, even if it’s not a very manly dog (princess). And that a man ought to love that dog and that there’s nothing wrong or unmanly about having a good cry or seven when a fine dog like Sam passes away.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that a man ought to have his own recliner. Far be it from me to drop hints in the middle of a funeral but my birthday is coming up and… I don’t have a recliner.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that when you are old and toothless and unthreatening you can flirt with just about any pretty girl you meet and she will flirt back which is great news because although most of us will never be tall, dark, and handsome someday we will all be able to pull off old, toothless, and unthreatening.





But the biggest thing I learned from Grampy is how to make those you care about it feel loved. I’ve never met anyone who could make you feel more loved than Grampy. He would ooo and ahh and “make of ya” until you were convinced that it went Jesus, Superman, you. Grampy was a man’s man, strong, tough, worked with his hands, provided for his family but more than anything he loved. When you were with Grampy you always got the impression that your visit was about the best thing that had happened for weeks even after he went back to the bedroom to watch the Red Sox game he managed to leave you thinking “he’s so happy I’m here he needs a break from all the excitement”.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned that there is no rule that says a grown woman can’t climb up on her father’s knee and snuggle with her Daddy. By paying attention to Grampy I learned that it’s good to just up and look a kid in the face and tell him your proud of him even when the most impressive thing he’s done in the last hour is change the channel. By paying attention to Grampy I learned that even if the ones you love don’t get an Oscar, a Grammy, and Emmy, world championship, or a Nobel Prize you can make them feel like a winner by awarding them the prestigious honor of being “top drawer material”. By paying attention to Grampy I learned that if your grandkids know you love them they don’t mind if it takes you a couple tries to get their name right.

By paying attention to Grampy I learned how something as simple as the Grampy swing can make you feel about a million feet tall which is pretty impressive considering you are in the hands of a five foot and a bit man who is bent in half at the waist. To some the Grampy swing would have been seen as just a silly game but to us his grandkids it was a near sacrament. When my son Micah was born we had him dedicated to God in a ceremony at Beulah camp but before that and in some strange way almost more important to me he got to experience the Grampy swing. Let me talk to the dad’s here, especially those with young kids or grandkids in our families and blood of Sonny McNally in our veins. That Grampy swing is gone and now the challenge falls to us to man up master the art of the Grampy swing. It’s gonna take strong arms and a good back but more than that it’s gonna take heart, it’s gonna take love. You see the Grampy swing is more than just a game you play with kids it’s a symbol of what it means to be a big strong man. Big and strong enough to swing a kid around yes, but also big and strong enough to make sure that kid knows they have a father or a grandfather who loves them deeply and unconditionally and who is proud of them. It needs to be true and our kids need to feel it. We need to learn to make them feel the way Grampy made us feel.

You always knew he cared about you and you didn’t just know it you felt it right down in the pit of your stomach. I have questioned a lot of things in this world but never once have I ever questioned if Grampy loved me. I always knew it, I always felt it, it was always true. I have a lot of memories of Grampy, some of them memories of trips in the truck, or ball games, or going to get ice cream, or a hundred other relatively mundane things but every one of them is a memory of knowing I was loved, and loving every minute of it. Grampy knew how to make you feel loved.

James Heath said it best and Grampy used to love to tell the story, I’m sure I won’t have all the details of this right but this is how I remember Him telling it, you might remember it differently, it’s the story about the time when a bunch of us kids were around and he was singing us a song about a baseball game and we all got our chance to bat and hit homeruns and throw strikes. He would sing and pause for dramatic effect and…Andrew comes up to the plate and… so an so comes up to the plate and we all waited with bated breath for our part in the story to come. Well just to be a tease he never did say Jamie. I think the rest of us had hit 3 home runs before Jamie ever got up to the plate. Finally as we were approaching the end of the song Grampy got to that all important part of who was up to bat; …and. And Jamie looked up at Grampy and said in the most sad and pathetic voice he could muster “sing me Grampy, sing me”.

Grampy always knew how to make you feel loved and valued and special and no matter what else went on in your life you knew there was a crazy old man in Sherman who was crazy about you. I’m no brilliant theologian but I don’t really think people in heaven can hear us, well, no one except for Jesus and as it turns out he and I are pretty close so Lord can you please give Grampy the following message from me: Grampy, I know death wasn’t the end for you and it won’t be the end for me either so I’ll keep on keeping on and paying attention until that day finally comes when I get to heaven. And when that day comes I’ll be keeping my eyes open for you. I expect you and Sam will be riding around the streets of gold in a brand new Cadillac. Heaven is perfect so you will be free from all pain and suffering and Sam will have a nose and won’t pee on himself anymore. I’m sure there are lot’s of Cadillacs in heaven and so even though I’m sure it won’t need it could you maybe hook a big old come-along to the back bumper just so I’ll know it’s you when you drive by. And I’ll give you a hug and catch you up on my life and the grand kids and I’m sure you will be able to show me a around and tell me lots but more than anything else, when I finally see you there, I just want to spend some time with you, and know you love me, and know you are proud of me, and to hear you one more time “Sing me Grampy, sing me.”