Predictions

Seems like this time of year everyone is making predictions. I'd like to make a few of my own but not about the NCAA, NHL, MLB, or US presidential campaign, no I'd like to make some predictions about a prayer retreat I'm going on this week (Thursday - Friday). When I get back I'll post about how accurate my predictions are. For the record I'm actually quite excited and looking forward to it but for entertainment sake I'll likely emphasize the more cynical points. After all, I am a happy cynic. First some quick background. It's a let's all get together affair billed as "a time for relationship building, encouragement, and listening to God for what's on his heart for the city." In my experience there are generally 3 kinds of "churches/pastors getting together events."

1. Ecumenical - these are mainliners (Anglican, United and other "Jesus who?" types) and maybe some catholics if they are really hardcore.

2. Evangelical - These events bring together people from dozens of different denominations and independent churches, 98% of which will have the word "baptist" in the title.

3. Experiential - These events generally happen to seek an experience (with God) and tend to be lead by and lean toward the charismatic / Pentecostal side of things.

This event will be of this type. How can I tell? First of all they promo talks about the heart of God (and even clearer give away would have been the "Father Heart of God) and second of the 10 people who are listed on the invitation 1 is Vineyard, 1 is Independent Charismatic, 1 is Charismatic Mennonite, 2 are PAOC, 1 is independent Charismatic and the others I don't know well enough to say but I got $50 that says most of them would be along the same lines. That said most of the ones I know are great folks, have been very supportive of Deep Water, and are spiritual leaders in our city.

So here are my predictions in no particular order:

1. We will worship and pray much and spend time in scripture little.
2. Tongues will be used in an unbiblical fashion
3. Someone will have "a word" for me
4. I'll have fun with some great people who love God
5. But there will be one jerk
6. No one will know what the heck a "wesleyan" is.
7. A couple guys will feel threatened by a new church
8. The people with the worst theology will talk the most about "Unity" (There will be much talk of "Unity")
9. I'll develop at least one new and meaningful friendship
10. After a long and spiritually intense time of prayer and reflection and listening to God we will come away the sense that what is "on God's heart for our city" is that lost people find Jesus, the poor and lonely be served, Jesus be lifted up, and a list of other things that fit in the "no duh" category of mission. In addition to this there will be one other bullet point that is a bit weird but not bad (I believe last years one was that God wanted christian couples in halifax to have babies).

Tune in sometime after Friday for the results.